(gelu tripudio vir)

Olympic Ice Dance Champions Jayne Torvill and Christopher Dean did a free dance performance at the 1984 Winter Olympics in Sarajevo which is remembered as being legendary. They skated to Maurice Ravel’s Boléro and received nine perfect 6.0 scores. In celebration of the 26th anniversary of that event, we at Dumptionary have great pleasure in presenting a special, commemorative stern nugget The Torvill and Dean.

Originally commissioned by Sir B. Glaswin, this masterpiece, hewn from a lump of solid excrement, has been lovingly crafted by eminent bottom sculptor Chargel Darling. Darling, originator of The Nirvana and Unassisted Nirvana is a graduate of Ilfracombe arts college, he shot to obscurity early in his artistic career where he has remained ever since.

The Torvill and Dean was unveiled recently amid great critical acclaim and has been described by Damien Hurst as a truly modern and deeply evocative work, charged with all the artistry, passion and energy of the real Torvill and Dean. ‘Darling has captured the movement and sheer poetry of the Sarajevo performance like no other, it’s a landmark work which transcends out very understanding, what genius!’

In an interview for Vanity Fair, Darling stated ‘Yes the work is indeed about movement but it’s really more about expressing the perfection of the dancers themselves and the intimate physical and emotional harmony between them in a modern, abstracted form and I hope I have achieved that. I have received criticism about my choice of material, people often ask what was wrong with doing it in bronze but I’m all about pushing the boundaries and after all that’s what Jayne and Chris were doing out there on the ice’.

Torvill and Dean are reported to be deeply honoured and The British Museum have offered twenty million pounds for the work.

We at Dumptionary give it a perfect 6.0!