(miles militis bellum victor)

While it is tempting to proclaim Sir. Winston Churchill a British war hero, it would be more factually correct to render his persona a world-saving entitiy. Without Winny, the world would be bereft of freedom, respect, and the Sir. Winston bum-cigar. In reality, embodying the image of both breeds of cigar, Sir. Winston is actually better known for his patronage of the inverted cleft ‘V’ bum-lumber configuration.

This is, of course, inverted with respect to the laid convention within the porcelain birthing suite – reknowned for the point of the “V” converging first, towards the throat of the flushing God. Were Sir. Winston to have inverted his famous “V” hand symbology to the reality of faecal output, he would have more resembeled an L.A. West-Side Posse member than the great wartime leader we all know and love today.

Stoic, resolute, and timelessly classic. Ladies and gentlemen – The Sir. Winston.